11 Years Anniversary

A night between the nights

When darkness exists before the lights

You suddenly come without my consent, while I’m shriveling under the blanket of fear

Restricted by rules, options and demands from the people who playing the blame game merrily, in their own armours of excuses

Then you, my love, have shown me what it’s like to be alright to possess such a feeling of tied into something meaningful, rather than to win everything for our self

Despite all flaws and lack of experiences, you teach me to paying no heed to the effect of tiredness, forever fighting, restless and always searching for the new limits to surpass

For the new height to climb, for a better you every single time

That is You

The one that I love the most

Of course your calm and collected personality, your gorgeous face with smoothest skin and long silver-grey shiny hair which tied into low ponytail or the bangs that hang over your eyes

Or your striking hazel eyes orbs which gaze be able to melting my entire universe 

Are the reasons of my love for you getting stronger in every breath that I take

But it’s not the case in here

Your kindness, honesty, adaptability and intelligence are the factors that made you look so lovable, being liked by so many, including myself whose days and nights are meaningless without your presence 

Oh My Beautiful Soulmate, how can I live by being away from you

The imagination itself already gives me a heart broken moment which makes me believe that the world stops to spin, the edge of life is just an inch away and I walk on the thin ice which could crumble anytime by an innocent footstep

Leaving me fall to the coldness of lake water in the winter season

Frozen to my death and silently drowning to the bottom of the depth

Without any hope to be found or being saved  

Cause it doesn’t matter, I choose to not live in this mortal life if I have to witness how you will link your arm to another woman who walk gracefully to take vows at the altar  

No..No...My Love 

That’s my greatest nightmare

My ultimate fear

I know that it is sounded not True Love that I keep in my fragile heart

I know love supposed to lifts and support each other to be better

But I can not forbid myself to not to do so

Because love is also about possession, togetherness and commitment

And I’m dying to experience it 

With You, and Only You

I hope it is not a selfish wish, because I wish you have the same wish

So, please take my hand, outpacing all, defying all odds

Lets simply running and being brave

I can promise you a joyful life and you will be forever indulged

Being showered by my neverending attention and love 

I could never leave my eyes from you, my gaze will lingering to you the whole night and day

Because you deserve all the praises, all the spotlights and all the attentions

Your existence means perfection, and the world should know about it 

My Dear Otori, Prince of My Heart

Remember the first time we met eleven years ago

You walked into the room, trying to be unnoticed 

But your strong charisma had lured people’s head toward you

I was so amazed, helplessly being captured in hazel frame of your eyes orbs 

The way my body shiver as being inside the box of ice

Contrary to the image of fire that was shown by your ember eyes

Everything melted into glacier and I have no power to encapsulated it

I was defeated in my own battle of consciousness and insensibility

Surrender by your immaculate persona

What should I do?

You are such a tricky enigma

As mysterious divine of mystical world

Who are you? Constantly I ask

The question which answers are never being revealed

Because nobody knows who you are

As you just fall from the sky and emerge as an unrealistic human whose visual, personality and capability are otherworldly

Sadly, the more I know you, the more I don't understand you

The closer we've got, the longer a distance being created

I may be the one that can reach you by an arm's length

But sometimes I could not be able to touch you

Isn't that ridiculous? 

Darling of my life

I know you are carrying the whole weight of responsibilities

People put the burden on your shoulders

Some because they just rely on you for everything

Some try to drag you into the hole of nothing

Between friends and foes, you just standing there with your feet buried deep in the sand

Do you know how easy for the tide to hauls you into the ocean

Tugs you into difficulties and hard situations?

At that certain time, My Love, I want you to tie a rope to my waist

As I stand on hardest ground of the hill

So I can pull you out before the sea envelops you with its cruelty

Before you drown into emptiness and feel numb for emotions

I want to be your anchor of happiness so you will never be a loner

Because you can lean on me, My Love

And we will share all the laughs and tears, all the pains and cheers

There’s no happiness existing without sadness in its tail

That’s life, isn’t it?

Oh, My Life’s Sonnet

I know it is hard for you to express your inside’s feeling

Putting a blank poker face is your way to survive from people whose intentions still unknown

You are best at it

But sometimes I want you to let it free

To leash out your anger, madness and frustration

Rather than keep it bottled up 

Don’t restraint it, just show me

As you convey your vehemence, passion, contentment throughout these years

Act as inspiration and set the bar of achievements

Hero of every battle

But we’re all know the struggles you have to face

The dark places you need to visit

And nightmares that occupy your nights

I want to be there too to, My Prince

We will fight all those hardships together, side by side

Don’t you know two is better than one?

I know you are strong and powerful, but even the strongest needs the weakest to become even stronger

Confused? Let me explain it to you

I’m a strong woman too, never thought myself as the weak

I have fought many battles as well, won every single fight

Yet, I succumb in front of you

Down to my knees on the floor

I found you irresistible and unmatched

Strangely, I have an urge to lift myself up even more

So I can meet your standards

I become the weak by your eyes, silly and irrational

While in reality, I’m stronger than a rock, hardest than an iron

You said that you will protect me from my enemies

You train yourself harder than you ever imagine

You become stronger each day 

I’m the reason of your progress

And you are also the reason of my drive to success

We’re complete each other

Each day, I miss you even you are beside me

I dream of you in my every sleep

The words I love you, could never be fit enough to express my feeling for you

The love I have for you is like a landscape of ideal world

There’s so many things lay there

The white house with tiny backyard, the dogs, the garden full of roses and begonias

The prairie at the background and little pond near the gate 

The sound of waterfalls soaring subtly into the sky

As in tune with my beating heart 

It mingles with the river, goes slowly to the ocean

The water flows by the wind of excitement with such a sweet emotion

Bounded with the voice of the wind, singing the song of love we carrying inside

My love for you is like a fire that burn unseen by people’s bare eyes

Feels like aches that aren’t hurting 

It is painful, yet feels so nice

I’m in rage, but not losing my mind

I’m wounded but satisfied with the scars

I’m discontent by the contentment

Loving you is a feeling of synonym and antonym

I’m both 

So, how do I love you?

Let me measure

I love you to the deepest sea, to the highest sky to the widest universe

I can see you without the sight

I can sense you from miles away

I feel you with my heart, it never lie

Between the desperation of your presence and absence

I have found the secret of loving you

No measurement is enough, no boundaries should be set

No settlement to be done

Loving you is an imaginary world, where all fantasies and realities come together

Loving you is magic

Nothing in this world is single, My Love

Every spirit has a pair

As I sensed you on the day we met

I felt your soul mingle with mine

By a divine law of attraction

By the fate already written on the book of life

I have found my Twin Flame

Dear Love of My Life, with you nothing is simple yet nothing is simpler

Our confusion, uncertainty and doubt are the barrier for us to move forward

I can no longer satisfied by simply just watching you fight your own way alone

I want you to add me as an assistant for your task

A companion of your lonely nights

A trustworthy friend you can rely on

You can use me, I won’t mind

Don’t be hesitate to ask

As about you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t want to know

I wish you want to know everything about me too

Because about you and I, everything become into relation

About you and I, no secret should be hidden

YOU ARE MY STRENGTH AND MY WEAKNESS

Please, bear my naked truth

As I say, I LOVE YOU

Dear Heart, Happy Anniversary